Its been so long I don't know where to start.
An old friend killed himself a week after my last post.( Here's what I posted on his facebook pageCollapse )
The summer continued. Mostly characterised by work and short holidays with lovers. There was also another school occupation
continues to be stressful, hard, challenging. I felt very frustrated with myself for not being good enough. Partly its because I'm comparing myself against nurses that have been doing it for years. Partly I'm genuinely not great and still learning. As I feel more competent, work is being less draining but I still have horrible shifts where I even miss my breaks and still don't feel I've stayed on top of everything. I'm asking for, and getting, more support now. I'm also moving wards again in 3 weeks as I'm on a rotation program.Holidays with lovers
Spent a week in Switzerland with Paolo. He's also been here twice for 9 days each time.
Lisa and I had a lovely cycling holiday to beautiful Deeside. She showed me places that she'd loved when living in Aberdeen. It was over too quickly. There were challenges and hard times, but it was really really good to spend time with her. Especially incredible was cycling through a huge area of native forest, and hanging out in our accommodation - a very cosy wooden A frame nestled in a bend in a river. We could hear the water gurgling all night. I'd bought paniers for the trip and it was very sweet to have the bikes (and camping stove) just outside the hut, and a lovely 6 mile ride into town to collect supplies.
Nick and I had a road trip for my birthday week - this time to explore North West Scotland. We took in Skye and then headed along the Wester Ross coastal road, through some of the most stunning scenery I've ever enjoyed, including round Applecross. We had a pop up tent - they actually work! I really liked being able to be a bit spontaneous with where we slept each night - no wild camping though, just camp sites so we had showers in the morning. Loch Caron was one of my favourites. We saw tond of wildlife, including an eagle up high, and close by we saw a kestrel - twice! Red squirrels, pretty little birds. I really want to explore the area on foot with more time to get into the landscape.
Fasted on Sun/Mon for Yom Kippur. Had a good fast with really interesting people and broke it with the yummiest cup of tea of the year.
So this is me now, end of September. I realised a while back I was draining myself by not giving myself any time to myself. Trying to build that back into my week. Also, again for my own peace of mind as well as for more obvious reasons, I need to still be active politically. I've started doing more Anarchist stuff plus residents association development.
I missed polyday due to lack of energy, timing (Yom Kippur weekend), V&A being out of London meaning I had one less temptation to go down, plus Paolo was around and we always seem to find more than enough to entertain ourselves with. ;)
I've also been out of touch with lots of people that I'd like to be in better contact with. I haven't even seen my family since December!